Wednesday, 26 October 2011

THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE AUSTRALIA. MEET THE CELEBS.

Well hello there, anyone who is bothering to read this!
Now that Australia's Next Top Model is over, I have to find something else to waste my time watching, while I should be studying for University exams.
And what better than another Australian Reality TV show!
Now usually when Australia tries to copy an American reality TV show, they do a really REALLY poor job,
and try substitute the big American Celebs with Australia's "equivalent"..

Americas Next Top Model VS Australias Next Top Model

The beautiful international supermodel, actress,
media personality, singer, author and businesswoman
Tyra Banks
VS
Sarah Murdoch,
 the wife of a Billionaires son,
former Australian Model and Actress
who does a lot of charity work.

the gorgeous film maker, author,
spokesperson, photographer and former
model
Nigel Barker
VS
equally gorgeous
British Fashion Photographer
Jez Smith.
yes, they are two different people. 

American model, TV personality and
runway coach
J. Alexander.
VS
This guy.
Josh Flinn.
i'm sorry, other than being a Bridgett Neilson
look alike,  and former
"guy inside one of the Bananas in Pajamas suits"
what exactly does this guy do..?
He doesn't even have a wikipedia page.
My DAD has a wikipedia page, and he isnt on TV.

Project Runway America VS Project Runway Australia

German-American model,
actress, television host, businesswoman, fashion designer,
television producer, and occasional singer
Heidi Klum
and American Fashion Consultant
and TV personality
Tim Gunn.
VS
Kirsty Hinze
an Australian model, and...
a man who speaks through his nose and
bobs up and down every time he talks, 
who's apparently a fashion designer.

American International Fashion Designer
Michael Kors
VS
Jason Brundson,
 who I THINK is a fashion designer?
who was replaced with..
Jarrad Clark,
who is also probably a fashion designer,
but I cant find him on the internet anywhere..
so i'm not sure.


American Idol VS Australian Idol

Randy Jackson,
 a Grammy Award-winning producer.
American singer-songwriter, dancer, choreographer,
actress and television personality
Paula Abdul,
replaced by
 Jenifer God Damned Lopez,
the worlds most beautiful woman, actress, singer,
producer and entrepreneur.. and
Simon Cowell,
 television producer, entrepreneur and A&R executive. 
VS
we had Mark Holden, Australian Singer, and Dicko Dickson,
who was someone in the Australian music industry,
 Kyle Sandilands,
 a Radio Personality,
and Marcia Heins, a singer.
American radio personality, television host, network producer and voice actor
Ryan Seacrest.
VS
These three.
James Mathison.. a TV presenter who's only
been on Australian Idol,
Australian Idol contestant Ricki Lee Coulter,
and Andrew G, who also only presented on Australian Idol.
Biggest Loser America VS Biggest Loser Australia
Two good looking fitness fanatics
VS
Australias equivalent of two good looking fitness fanatics.

but I must say, Celebrity Apprentice Australia takes the cake for the worst Substitute Celebrities yet.

Celebrity Apprentice America VS Celebrity Apprentice Australia

A man worth $2.9 Billion Dollars,
Donald Trump.
Need I say more.
VS
Chairman of Yellow Brick Road,
a mortgage company
who's name is inspired by children's movie.
Mark Bouris.
Nice try Australia.
Well, I guess now is time to MEET THE CELEBRITIES! 

Donald Trump has provided us with internationally famous faces such as Rock God Gene Simmons, American Singer Bret Michaels, Singer Cyndi Lauper, British Journalist and TV presenter Piers Morgan, Comedian and Actress Joan Rivers, Singer and Actor Meat Loaf and Michael Jacksons sister Latoya Jackson.  (yes, there's been a fair few singers.)

lets see if Australia is up to par!

Wow Mister Bouris, you really must have broken the bank to get this cast of A list celebrities. 
I mean, take a look! With famous faces such as...




REALITY STAR POLLY PORTER
Besides having a name that sounds similar to Harry Potter, this delightful lady is fresh off the set of "The Block", where she won $115,000 for building a house!
WOW! A Real Life Celebrity! If building a house is all you have to do to be famous, I better get to it!







DANCE GURU JASON COLEMAN
A judge from a Dancing show! WOW!







AFL LEGEND SHANE CRAWFORD
A football player! WOW!





AUSTRALIAN SINGER DENI HINES
The daughter of a famous singer! WOW!









BEAUTY QUEEN JESINTA CAMPBELL
A really beautiful Australian toddler in a tiara! WOW!











FOOTY CHAMPION WENDELL SAILOR
Another Football Player! WOW!




OLYMPIAN LISA CURRY
A former Australian Olympian with a lot of kids.  WOW!




POLITICIAN JULIA GILLARD
A red headed annoying Australian politician with a horrible sounding voice, that hardly anyone in Australia actually likes. Famous for being asked by the public: "please explain."


OOPS! WRONG ONE. sorry.


POLITICIAN PAULINE HANSON
A red headed annoying Australian politician with a horrible sounding voice, that not very many people in Australia like. Famous for saying "please explain." WOW!









INTERNATIONAL MODEL DIDIER COHEN
A good looking guy with an american accent. WOW!









AGENT TO THE STARS MAX MARKSON
A controversial and shiny cue ball with eyes, teeth and a VERY annoying voice. WOW!








COMEDIENNE JULIA MORRIS
An Australian woman with a sense of humor! WOW!




80'S ICON WARWICK 'WAZZA' CAPPER
Another Australian Football Player! WOW!


Well, it appears to me that mister Bouris really has found the creme of the crop, the best that Australia has to offer. With 3 football players, 2 models, a comedienne, a politician, a cue ball with a nose, a singer, a girl with a hammer, a dancer and an Olympian, this installment of Celebrity Apprentice is sure to be a good one. 

Stay tuned!!

Now, go do something productive.
<3 Alex

2 comments:

  1. Hilarious x. I must say you get these personalities down rather well. Looking very much forward to the next episode. Am passing this on gal.

    ReplyDelete